Ever gone into a mall to get something completely unrelated to footwear but then walk out with like 3 new pairs of high-heels?
How could this happen!?!?You wonder….
Now if this has happened to you on 3 or more occasions, you may have what is considered a shoe-shopping problem.
Problem you say?!? Nonsense….If you call looking fabulous a problem, we’re not speaking the same language right?
This post is dedicated to the shoe-obsessed shopaholic women of the world.
Don’t fight it ladies, its natural.
These are the original Twelve Steps as published by Alcoholics Anonymous (and then edited to fit my specific problem with heels and 12 of my current shoe obsessions)
STEP 2: We come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves, such as the hottest white summer sandals I’ve seen just yet that could restore us to sanity.
STEP 3: Make a decision to turn our will, and our plastic shopping buddy named Visa, over to the shiny scissor gods. But before you do that, you want to buy these babies that go with just about everything, so when you look down at your shoes to cry about losing your favorite shopping buddy (Visa) , you will smile because at least your wearing some classy and timeless shoes that you can wear about every day of the week:
STEP 4: Go searching and take a fearless moral and material inventory of ourselves and our excessive wardrobes while wearing these Charles David Shoes which I believe every woman should feel morally obligated to own:
STEP 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to the nice sales lady at Nieman’s the exact nature of our wrongs …
STEP 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of our character- unless we don’t want to because shoe shopping is too much fun…
STEP 8: Make a list of all persons we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all, right after finding the proper footwear to make such a particular confession.
STEP 9: Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others, or take away from precious time trying on shoes at the Nordstrom shoe sale…ohh Nordstrom…
STEP 10: Continued to take personal inventory and footwear inventory – when we were wrong or gluttonous promptly admitted it.
STEP 11: Sought through prayer, meditation, and shopping to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out in the hottest shoes we can possibly find this minute…
STEP 12: Having had a spiritual shoe awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to shoe shopaholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Note: This post is not intended to help those looking to get rid of their shoe shopping substance abuse problem- it will only strengthen it. If your looking for someone to help you confront and eliminate your substance abuse problem for fine ass footwear, I am not your girl. However, if you are looking for a friend to help you stay up to date on the sexiest heels with the hottest deals- I’m that girl, at your service…